Mr. E. B. (I)
May 20th 2004Wallabynerd alert
The department has a new supervisor for the dispensary. He’s got some interesting signs/slogans on his door now, which have been puzzling me for some time. I’m bored and waiting for an experiment to finish so…
Slogan 1: “Chemistry in Four Words: Who’s Got the Ions?”
I don’t remember if it’s actually capitalized like that or not. In any case, it’s rather odd.
Is chemistry a mystery story - who took the ions? who’s hiding the ions from us? which ions? where were they last? where was Svante Arrhenius on the night of October 13, 1974?
Is chemistry a party? “Dude, this is lame.” “Yeah, when are the ions gonna show up?” “I thought Johnson was bringing ‘em this time.” “Nah, he’s not even coming, man. He’s grounded.” “Bummer.” “Yeah. Hey, check out the double bonding on that chick over there.”
Or is there some sort of teaching-explanation for chemical bonding that boils it all down to ions, that I just never got exposed to somehow? I could sorta see that (even though it’s wrong), but it seems like an odd door-slogan if so. “Okay, what do I have to remember now that I’m in charge of making up solutions for sixty-two freshmen laboratories? Oh yeah - I gotta remember who’s got the ions.”
Slogan 2: “Yes, I’ve known rivers!”
He’s known someone named Rivers? He’s met several largish watercourses? He likes whitewater rafting? Is it from a song?
Two more coming when I remember to stop long enough to remember them.