Junk mail flattery
So I signed up a while back with some likely-to-spam company — I forgot which one, or what I signed up for — and I gave them my name missing a letter. I had the grand plan that I’d remember which company I gave that name to so when the spam showed up I could call them and complain about violations of their privacy policy and whatnot. (Key to this plan was the first bit… hard to practice now.)
Ever since, I’ve gotten a charming assortment of random junk addressed to Not-Quite-Me. Some of it was slightly useful, like the free drill-bit sizer from the Handymen of America. Some of it was useless and boring, like the mortgage offers. (Clearly, I’m only living in an apartment because I need a better rate on my mortgage. Although it’s not like they bothered to check… I exist only to receive their ads, after all.)
Today’s offering takes the cake, though, or maybe the sippy-cup: Pampers wrote to tell me that “You’re like every other toddler… wonderfully unique!” And inside: “New Larger Size coming soon!”
Now, they *do* have a product described as “Advanced Trainers”, which “Helps Me Learn”. I should write and ask if it’s likely to help me in graduate school… They *do* say they’re “helping toddlers graduate”, after all. Hrm.
